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Reviews

GaryView: The Blood Countess by Tara Moss

Gary and LissaLissa: Given your usual misgivings about how vampire books are nothing like actual vampires, what’s the verdict

Gary: It was okay.

Lissa: I really liked Pandora English. She’s smart, capable, funny and I liked that she wanted to be an investigative journalist, not just write fluff pieces about fashion. Her Aunt Celia was a good character, and I liked her friendly Civil War ghost. Luke was a sweetie.

Gary: The ghost was okay.

Lissa: It was pretty funny in parts, and the mystery was good. It’s that Hitchcockian theory of suspense, when you know more that the protagonist.

Gary: I suppose that was okay.

Lissa: The writing style flowed really nicely too. It was fun and easy to read, which I like sometimes.

Gary: It was a fast read, yes.

Lissa: …You didn’t really like it, did you?

Gary: It was fine, for a light read. I did like the writing style, really. It’s very cinematic. It’s easy to see how it would look as a film.

Lissa: What didn’t you like about it?

Gary: I didn’t not like it. It just… had a lot in it about clothes. And shoes. What’s a Mary Jane shoe anyway?

Lissa: Sort of like what I’m wearing now, but with a chunkier heel.

Gary: And that’s what Pandora was excited about?

Lissa: Mary Janes are comfortable but still pretty.

Gary: …oooookay.

Lissa: Actually, the scenes with the vintage fashion dress-ups were some of my favourites! It would be nice to have an exotic former designer of a great-aunt giving me tips and nice shoes to make my way in New York.

Gary: You would?

Lissa: Yeah. That Chanel outfit sounded nice. The black pants suit.

Gary: I didn’t think you were very interested in clothes.

Lissa: I’m not obsessive about them…

Gary: Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Lissa: What do you mean?

Gary: I mean that I didn’t think you were into shoes and stuff that much.

Lissa: Why?

Gary: Well…

Lissa: Just because I don’t go on and on about fashion, it doesn’t mean I don’t like nice things.  I like nice clothes. I have my own style.

Gary: (nods vigorously, like he’s understood) Yes. Your librarian style.

Lisa: What’s that supposed to mean?

Gary: (uncertain) Ah….

Lissa: Sartorial criticism coming from a man who wears the Hawaiian shirts his mother bought for him in a job lot at a fire sale in the early 80s isn’t really my idea of expert comment.

Gary: I’ve said something wrong and I don’t know what it is.

Lissa: What does ‘librarian style’ even mean?

Gary: I just meant… you’re a librarian and… that’s how… you dress…? Should I have said Lissa style? You dress like you. Is that… how is that a bad thing?

Lissa: It’s…ah… not.

Gary: Would it help if I said sorry?

Lissa: You don’t know what you’re apologising for, do you?

Gary: … no…

Lissa: (sighs) Don’t worry. It’s nothing. It’s just… someone at work yesterday said I dressed like a hippy.

Gary: I knew hippies at uni in the 1960s. You don’t dress like them. Anyway, I like what you wear. I like the colours.

Lissa: You don’t think it’s too… old fashioned?

Gary: I think you look nice.

Lissa: Oh. Well. Thank you.

Gary: You’re welcome. (pause) What’s wrong with my Hawaiian shirts?

*For newcomers, the GaryView is a review of books/films/TV/entertainment carried out as a conversation between Lissa Wilson (librarian) and Gary Hooper (vampire) , characters from my book ‘The Opposite of Life’.

Reviews

GaryView: Death and the Spanish Lady by Carolyn Morwood

Gary and LissaLissa: That was a bit of a history lesson. I remember reading about a flu epidemic after the First World War, but I had no idea that it was so bad, or that it shut Melbourne down like that.

Gary: Yeah. I think one of my dad’s uncles died of the flu around when this book is set.

Lissa: This book really brings it home, doesn’t it? The historical setting really works, and I liked Eleanor as well. She’s working through all this grief, but she really wants justice, whether or not the dead guy deserves it.  I like it that the truth was more important to her than staying comfortably out of it.

Gary: You don’t think she should have left the murder for someone else to investigate?

Lissa: I think I have amply demonstrated that keeping out of things isn’t always an option.

Gary: I guess you have. I liked Sister Jones too, though that might be because she reminded me of my mum. Mum was a nurse too.

Lissa: A nurse detective?

Gary: Not that I know of, but I wouldn’t have put it past her. My mum was pretty cool in a crisis. That’s how she met Dad, actually. During the war, she was stationed in Greece. Dad had been wounded and she looked after him on the ship during the evacuation from Crete. They kept writing after he was shipped home, and when she got back to Australia they got married.

Lissa: That must have been hard for him, waiting for her.

Gary: They never talked about it much. Not to me, anyway. Dad had got shot in the leg, though, and they wouldn’t let him stay in the army. He went home and did his teaching degree instead, so he’d have a steady job for when Mum got back.

Lissa: Every time you tell me about your folks I think how awesome they were.

Gary: This book made me think of both of them. They both went through a lot. For years as a kid, whenever I saw someone my dad’s age, or my grandad’s, I wondered whether they had bullet scars too. My mum kept on nursing, too. She used to say the only thing worse than the old air raids was working on the children’s wards.

Lissa: I bet.

Gary: Yeah.

Lissa:. So. Death and the Spanish Lady. Did you work out the killer before the end?

Gary: No. I never do, though. Not even when I was alive. I used to try making notes as I read to see if I could work it out, but I never could. Mum said it was because I wasn’t devious enough.

Lissa: I guess crime stories aren’t really like maths equations. Otherwise all crimes would get solved by the scientists.

Gary: All crimes are solved by the scientists on some TV shows.

Lissa: I like this kind of murder mystery better. And it’s not as gritty and realistic as all those Underbelly-type stories, so I like that better too. I have enough gritty realism in my life. But this has a different kind of realism. That sometimes you succeed in something but it’s not necessarily a triumph.

Gary: I know all about that, too.

Lissa: You and me both. Hey, how about we cheer ourselves up with a musical. <grins at the look on his face> Or a werewolf movie.

Gary: Can I vote for a werewolf movie?

Lissa: Only if it’s the original Teen Wolf.

Gary: Teen Wolf it is.

* *

You can get Death and the Spanish Lady in paperback from Readings, or as an ebook from Booki.sh or Amazon.com.

Reviews

GaryView: Love and Romanpunk by Tansy Rayner Roberts

Gary and Lissa*For newcomers, the GaryView is a review of books/films/TV/entertainment carried out as a conversation between Lissa Wilson (librarian) and Gary Hooper (vampire) , characters from my book ‘The Opposite of Life’.

Lissa: I hadn’t heard of Lamia’s before. How did I miss the fact that Keats wrote poems about vampires?

Gary: Lamia’s aren’t really vampires. They’re not really real, either. I think.

Lissa: Neither are manticores or basilisks, I take it.

Gary: Not that I’ve ever seen.

Lissa: Well, given that fiction is usually a case of Epic Fail when it comes to accurately describing vampirism as you know it, did you like the book?

Gary: Oh, she got the attitude of vampires spot on. And I really liked the Roman theme park and especially the airship in the last story.

Lissa: I bet you just wished there was a lot more about the engineering.

Gary: I know a lot about how airships worked. I was a bit obsessed with the idea when I was nine and read a bunch of books about the Hindenburg and stuff. My granddad still had newspaper cuttings from the papers from the disaster. I once met a vampire who said she’d been on an airship once. Sounded terrific. Well, except for the high volatility and risks of burning to death.

Lissa: A design flaw that sucks equally for humans and vampires. I really loved the idea of a Roman re-enactment town in the middle of the Australian bush. Someone should actually do that.

Gary: I’d love to see that. The Romans had some incredible engineering. Not just the aqueducts. They had hyraulic mining, water wheels, even ways of getting ducted heating into buildings.

Lissa: I have a sudden image of you in a toga supervising the building of bridges.

Gary: A toga?

Lissa: And sandals.

Gary: And you’re not laughing?

Lissa: I thought it would be rude. (giggles)

Gary: Getting away from your images of me in ridiculous costume…

Lissa: At least I didn’t picture you as a Centurion… oh dear… (giggles some more)

Gary: Getting away from that… what did you like?

Lissa:  My god, there were a lot of fearsome women in this book! I loved all of them.

Gary: Clea reminded me of my mum.

Lissa: Really? Don’t tell me she had a long-term friendship with an immortal…

Gary: Apart from me?

Lissa: Oh, there is that, isn’t there. Don’t tell me she fought monsters, too?

Gary: No. Well, she did once throw a cup of hot tea into Mundy’s face and tell him to bugger off.

Lissa: Your mum was clearly awesome.

Gary: Yeah. She was.

Lissa: Wish I’d known her.

Gary: She’d have liked you, I think.

Lissa: Her name wasn’t Julia, by any chance?

Gary: Dot. Dorothy.

Lissa: But a Julia in spirit, eh? The Julias in this book were all brilliant. If I ever have a daughter, I’m going to call her Julia, and she’ll be mighty.

Gary: I suspect any kid of yours’ll be pretty feisty.

Lissa: Though it seems that Dots are fairly mighty too.

Gary: And they make a mean lemon delicious.

Get Love and Romanpunk from Twelfth Planet Press. The book is the second of TPP’s Twelve Planets series.

Reviews

GaryView: Beauty and the Beast Pilot Episode

Gary and LissaGary: That wasn’t very plausible.

Lissa: A cat-faced man forming a strange and intense friendship with a plucky gal with a regular job?

Gary: For a start.

Lissa: Says the vampire who is friends with a librarian.

Gary: … I suppose when you put it like that…

Lissa: (laughs) Only you never read me poetry.

Gary: No. Not likely to either. My high school English teacher made me promise to never read aloud again.

Lissa: Oh, that’s mean.

Gary: Yeah. But. You know. Warranted. Not everybody has a voice like a cat-faced man from New York.

Lissa: (a little wistfully) He does have a very nice voice.

Gary: Are you telling me you liked all that schmaltz?

Lissa: … It’s not that schmaltzy.

Gary:  Say that again without sounding defensive.

Lissa: Okay, so it’s a bit schmaltzy. And also a bit creepy, having a secret boyfriend who beats people up.

Gary: Oh, I hadn’t thought of that bit. That is creepy.

Lissa: But I love this show anyway. I watched it when I was a little girl. I used to dress our cat in a little teatowel cape and made him listen to classical music with me. I made my sister Belinda find all the poems and read them to me and Kate at bedtime. We didn’t know what half of it meant, but we loved the way the words sounded. A few years after Belinda died I found the series on videotape and watched it all again. I went and found all the poems and music from it. It reminded me so much of her…

Gary: (a little panicky)  I’m sorry. Don’t cry. I’m sorry I said it was schmaltzy.

Lissa: (taking big breaths) Sorry. Sorry. I didn’t mean to get all… sometimes it gets me like this. I’m okay. I just… I miss her so much, sometimes. I miss the things we did together, even the fights we had. Belinda should have been a great writer, and instead she… she… (gulps down a breath) I even miss talking about her. We stopped doing that at home. It made the sadness unbearable.

Gary: I’m sorry you’re sad.

Lissa: Me too. So this show, and the poetry in it, it’s like, it’s something Belinda gave me.

Gary: Um. The poetry is… very pretty. And the music’s nice.

Lissa: (sniffing) Yes, they are. This show is one of the reasons I became a librarian, in the end. I spent so much time in libraries finding all the texts, I liked being in there much more than I liked being at home. I always felt safe in libraries. And close to Belinda.

Gary: Libraries are great. I usually hang around the non-fiction section myself, or look for the SF.

Lissa: (calmer) You should try some of the great poets one day.

Gary: Maybe. I’ve certainly got the time to read them nowadays.

Lissa: So. Right. Seeing as it’s schmaltzy and a little creepy, I take it you’re not keen on watching any more.

Gary: I don’t mind creepy. But is this whole series a split between poetry and violence?

Lissa: … You know, I rather think it is. Though there is some great world-building later on, about the society that lives in the tunnels below New York. You might enjoy watching some of the things they do to jury-rig technology.

Gary: Oh, that would be interesting.

Lissa: It’s funny how Vincent lives below the city, but he likes to climb up the buildings to look at it from above too.

Gary: If I was forced to live in a cave, I’d probably like to go roofless for a bit too.

Lissa: I guess so. Hey, do you ever climb onto rooftops to look at the city at night?

Gary: Not really. Though I did climb to the roof of Council House Two a few times to look at the yellow turbines up there, and how the shutters work. You know the place, with all that climate friendly engineering?

Lissa: (laughs) That’s your kind of poetry, huh?

Gary: I guess so. I made some sketches and tried to do some reading on the engineering principles, but I had trouble with some of it. (shrugs off the limits of his undead brain)

Lissa: Have you ever thought of going up to just… look at the view?

Gary: No. Is it a nice view?

Lissa: Probably. It looks pretty from my apartment block in South Melbourne. The night sky and the city lights are very forgiving to the Yarra River. I bet it would be even nicer from higher up.

Gary: Would you like to see it? I can take you up if you want.

Lissa: I’d like that.

Gary: I’ll… even let you read me some of that poetry you like, if you want.

Lissa: Are you sure?

Gary: I like your voice. That would be okay. You can explain all the things I don’t understand, too.

Lissa: I’d be delighted to, Gary.

Gary: Good. Maybe… if you miss talking about Belinda. You could tell me about her too. If you want.

(Lissa stares at Gary a moment, then lunges at him, hugging him fiercely. Gary, not sure what he’s done right this time, pats her on the back.)

*For newcomers, the GaryView is a review of books/films/TV/entertainment carried out as a conversation between Lissa Wilson (librarian) and Gary Hooper (vampire) , characters from my book ‘The Opposite of Life’.