Lissa: Vladimir Tod reminds me of you!
Gary: A friendless, nerdy kid who’s beaten up by bullies and is clueless with girls?
Lissa: No! Dope. I mean a kid trying to find out the rules of vampirism who watches a lot of vampire films and doesn’t eat people.
Gary: Oh.
Lissa: And you’re not friendless.
Gary: I have one friend. And Vladimir Tod has one friend.
Lissa: You’re in a mood today. If you’re not careful I’ll have to give you a hug.
Gary: (looks at her)
Lissa: (pounces and gives him a hug)
Gary: Sorry.
Lissa: You don’t ever have to be sorry for feeling low. Life’s like that, sometimes.
Gary: So’s undeadness.
Lissa: Wanna talk about it?
Gary: … No… Yes… Um… Maybe I identified with him a bit. Except I was really good at maths and not so good at English. And I wasn’t a vampire in high school, just uncool.
Lissa: Most of us are uncool at school, and those that are cool, well they’re just faking it.
Gary: I guess.
Lissa: Trust me. And I think you’re neat.
Gary: I think you’re pretty neat too.
Lissa: Vlad’s pretty cool in the end, too. He learns from his experiences.
Gary: All the stuff about discovering his past and trying to work out what’s going on when he hasn’t any data was ok. Some of the story happens a bit too quickly.
Lissa: It does feel rushed at times. It reminded me of Harry Potter sometimes too, doing the whole school year and having a weird teacher. I thought the characterisation was a bit light-on.
Gary: True. I liked his guardian, Nelly, but I wish there’d been more about her. His mate Henry too. And I didn’t get why Vlad liked Meredith so much. She was kind of …
Lissa: … Wet? Vapid?
Gary: No real personality. I always liked smart girls with a bit of character. Who laughed at me.
Lissa: Are you angling for another hug?
Gary: (laughs) No.
Lissa: Cos there’s plenty where that came from.
Gary: I’m aware of that.
Lissa: (grins) You haven’t yet had your usual rant about the inaccuracy of the vampire lore.
Gary: You know the drill. Some of it is fine, some of it is ridiculous. I wish the levitating bit was true. That would be handy. Especially when I’ve just washed the floor.
Lissa: They never write about vampires doing housework, have you noticed?
Gary: Even creatures of the night need a tidy house.
Lissa: (bunging on a bad Transylvanian accent) “I must go a wreak havoc in ze mortal vorld, but firrrst I must dust my bric a brac…”
Gary: “…und vipe ze vindows…”
Lissa: (giggles)
Gary: Just because I’m undead, it doesn’t mean I like grime.
Lissa: Doesn’t mean you don’t like hugs either.
Gary: …
Lissa: (pounces and hugs him again)
Buy Eighth Grade Bites (Chronicles of Vladimir Tod, Book 1)